Can I get help with this? This is just a sample of my writing when I was Bord. C

Question:

Can I get help with this? This is just a sample of my writing when I was Bord. Can I get a critique?

As the two embraced for the last time they both held a tear in their blue eyes. ??Please don??t let it be true.?? The woman said in a soft and tearful voice.
??It has to be, we can no longer.?? The man said pulling away to look at her face of a pale white. ??It will be fine Aqula, we will be together sooner than you think.?? He said as the sunset all around them leaving them in pale light.
??Please you can??t go not know I can??t do anything now??I can??t do anything to save you.?? Aqula said looking into his iced blue eyes that were now clouded with death in them, a tear falling from her own eyes. ??You can??t go!?? She cried as she buried her face in his strong chest. ??You cant, you cant!?? She repeated into his chest crying for him. ??Rain please.?? She begged.
??I??m sorry I am not that strong for you, and this is what I get for doing the things I have done in the past, and to you.??
??I forgive you for that!?? She said pulling her head from his chest. A wince of pain came onto Rains face as he looked down to her, her eyes crying blue sorrowful tears. His body grew weak as the seconds past, his life fading from this earth. His eyes grew dimmer, as his knees buckled beneath him. Aqula gasped as she caught his fall, she laid him upon the ground gently with his breathing continuing still. She slowly leaned him on her legs as her throught tightened with tears blinding her view.
??Oh Rain please don??t do this.?? She pleaded as she cradled his face in her hand.
??I??m sorry Aqula but you know I never listen to what anyone says.?? He joked with a faint and forced smile.
Aqula gave a smile through her tears, with the smile the tears fell upon his chest that was now barely moving.
??Love ya,?? he said to her with his blue eyes turning to gray and closing for the final time.
Aqula sat there unmoving for a moment unbelieving what she had lost. ??No?? was all she said in a horse whisper. With that she laid her head on to his motionless chest with her arms around her head as she mourned the thing she had loved the most. As she wept she thought back to how this had all come to be.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Pretty good. Made me wonder what was going on before hand.