Question:
Please comment on my poem?
My beloved boy with eyes so deep
So dark so light, and yet they speak
They speak to me of passing times
When lust and love were once a crime
Where power and hate ruled them all
Where even the strongest felt weak and small
My beloved boy with eyes so sharp
So dark so light, they could pierce the heart
Their sharpness penetrates everything
From who you are to who you've been
From where you're at to where you'll go
You can lie, but he'll still know
My beloved boy with eyes so fine
So dark, so light, they could change your mind
They look within you to soothe the soul
They gaze upon you to make you whole
They seek something that's deep within
They seek your lies, your thruths, your sins
My beloved boy with eyes so strong
So dark, so light, they can do no wrong
They say to me that we'll be together
Maybe not always, but in my heart forever
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
At first reading, it is really a nice poem, it doesn't even sound contemporary, the interior rhymes are fantastic this 's' sound all over the poem, a masterpiece!