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Question:

I have written some haikus and need critiques and comments?

Roadside, blood, antlers
Deer slashing through windshield glass
Deer? there were many


A few drops of rain
trickle down the cars windshield
Crash! the rain is red


Hunters camouflage
Firing switch on two-shot bursts
Nimble fingers kill


You and I and them
A ragged photo album
Yellow brittle old

The church paid him cash
to dig a grave, cut the grass
Best job he'd ever had


Brownish waters licked
Graffiti artists painted
Sea wall attended


The inky black sky
Splashes of clouds, sparks of stars
attend birth of fog



Soldiers hunkered down
behind bush covered bunkers
hiding fearful hearts




White faces hunkered down
behind bush covered bunkers
hiding gunmetal gleams



I sing silently for
my sheep sleep too restlessly
when they are upset



He paid for the wool
so I spent all the money
to buy a new flock



Weathered mossy stone
practices its faith by means
of grave, grave markers

Additional Details

1 week ago
right ! Thank you
I must remove down and here from 9 and 10

1 week ago
I mean I need to remove "for " not "here" from the singinghaiku


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 1 week ago
right ! Thank you
I must remove down and here from 9 and 10