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I'm starting to get tired of life, tired of everything?

I'm just so fed up. I'm tired of being hurt. I feel so lost and I don't know what to do with myself. I've had many thoughts about suicide since I was 11 and now I'm about to be 20 and I just cant take it anymore. I just got out of a "relationship" and I just find out that the guy just wanted to use me but I cut it off before it got that far. I have a hard time trusting and I feel so betrayed by him. I have noone to lean on. I can't trust anyone, not even family or friends. I'm fed up with life and i just want to end the pain.I want to end it so bad and I don't know why. i've tried counseling and nothing seems to work for me. I jsut want to get away from it all and start over. I hate my life. I'm hating everything about me right now. I feel so worthless and stupid. What's wrong with me?


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: You sound like me three years ago.

My personal sob story is that I was physically and emotionally abused by my father for years, and was dealing with feelings of depression, inferiority, worthlessness, and self-hate. Yeah, it sucked. But once I started caring about myself and putting an effort into finding out who I really was, things started getting better.

Do you play an instrument? If not, try picking one up. That's what I did, I learned to play violin. Even if you don't learn to play anything, it helps so much to listen to music, especially when you find songs that combine beautiful instrumental parts with lyrics that mirror your feelings, experiences, etc. Music for me has literally saved my life, it's been my main source of comfort for years. The thing about music is that no matter how many people abandon or hurt you, music will always be there and will always be the same. It never hurts, and it never leaves.

Another thing that helped me immensely is to get in touch with nature. Corny as it seems, I've had several experiences that were so perfect that, in all their grand simplicity, they reminded me that things will be alright in the end.

I wish you the best of luck, and am truly sorry that you are feeling this way. Please don't take your life; give things a chance to get better. Though it seems like things will always suck, trust me, they won't. I'm happier now than I've ever been.

If you need anything - support, someone to talk to, anything - feel free to email me. This is a tough place to be in, and I'm willing to help in any way I can. What you're going through is something that no one should have to go through alone.