How can it be....?

Question:

How can it be....?

that people can say they are able to honestly and sincerely forgive when, because of memory, they can never truly forget?
To forgive someone is to wipe the slate clean, never to be brought up again but say....

you forgive someone for cheating and continue the relationship...somewhere along the line something will bring it back to memory (even if not intentional) and you will bring the situation up again. You will always have that feeling of probability that it may happen again. How did you forgive?

Someone steals from you... you will always be watching you things for the possibility of it happening again. How is that forgiveness?

So with us being human, and memory (without a medical excuse) is part of our brain function, how can we honestly with all sincerity forgive?

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: To "forgive and forget" is more of a hope and effort than an actual thing that happens. When one "forgives and forgets" one attempts to act as though there is a clean slate, even if the offending event comes to mind.

"somewhere along the line something will bring it back to memory (even if not intentional) and you will bring the situation up again."

While something may happen to bring the past transgression to mind, one does not have to "bring the situation up again." That is part of the "forgive and forget"

Forgiveness is not linked to forgetting. Forgiveness involves believing in the other person and not holding their past transgressions against them in the future. It is not bringing up the past after one has said "I forgive you", for if one brings up the past, one is still holding the past against that person.

It is not what actually happens that matters, but rather how one acts that matters.