I am not....?

Question:

I am not....?

I am not.
not to be anything that is worthy of you,
not to love, and not to be loved,
not to have a dream nor be dreamt of,
not to feel and not to be felt
not to have the cards that one is normally dealt,
not to hope and not to wish,
not make my bed nor clean my dish,
not ever to be seen or to see,
not to be with you nor you with me,
not to live my life as one would,
not to have a life as I should...

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: On the first reading, I thought this was quite sad ... but then I decided that the first line "I am not" cancells out all the other nots.

You know, the double negative and all.
I am not not to be anything ... means I am something.
Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the beauty of poetry: it doesn't really matter what the writer meant so much as what the reader discovers.