o...I'm in a poetry "battle"

Question:

I wrote half a poem, but I want a second/o...I'm in a poetry "battle" between me and my cousin....I'm all ears

"Alice"

The day was more boring than a bald man' comb
I was heading home..
As I got in the bus, I spotted her scent
A cocktail of excessive perfume
And inexpensive wine
Seasoned her cigarette's fume
I meant no harm or malice
When I asked her for the time
She looked at her watch
And said "Twelve to ten...My name is alice"
And looked at her watch again

Silence took over for a while
Till she gave me the cue with a smile
So I asked "Where you going"?
"I wish I knew" she replied
"Me too" I said
I asked "What are you going to do right now?"
The question that would get her in my bed
"If the price is right, you" she said..

I'm not done yet..

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: i like it but you can be more descriptive above before you go to the bottom