Plz give me constructive criticism on my poem. I know nothing is perfect. there

Question:

Plz give me constructive criticism on my poem. I know nothing is perfect. there is always room for improvement

I Write

I write to those who have no words
To those who wish to find
Those words which make the heart clear
The words that don??t appear in mind

I write to those who know my pain
To those who live to find the truth
Those who know right from wrong
The plain and simple truth

I write to those who know my joy
To those completely in love
Those who sing of happiness found
The joy so rooted in love

I write to those who know life
To those that see it all
Those who love and mourn the same
The imperfect life we love to live
And hate to love
Life just as it is

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Hi Melissa, here's my constructive criticism hopefully it will help you refine your poem (whether you agree with it or not--and that's ok either way).

Writing about writing is tough. It usually comes across as too static and boring (not as bad as poems about writer's block). So from the very start you've dug a hole that you have to climb out of with many readers. Doesn't mean you can't do it, but realize that it's there.

To your poem: (S=Stanza L= Line)

S1 L4: This reads very akwardly. The syntax feels off.

S2 L1: "my pain". This is an abstraction. You are telling us something when it would be more effective if you showed us what your pain meant with a more concrete noun.

S2 L2: "truth" is also abstract but it doesn't bother me as much as "pain" did.

S2 L4: I don't like the dual repetition of truth here between L2 and L4.

S3 L2 & 4: I don't really like the dual repetitioon of love here.

These dual repetitions might work if you carried it through every stanza, but I'd have to see that first to really know.

S4 L4-6: This reads really clunky. You need to smooth this out.

Well, those are my comments. I'm not trying to be harsh with them. I hope that isn't the tone that came across. I like to read good poems, and with some rewrites this has potential--and rewriting is something all of us need with our work to get better(at least it's true with mine).

I hope that helps.