My attempt at an Elizabethan Sonnet (Never Burnt By Fire) - opinions, pls?

Question:

My attempt at an Elizabethan Sonnet (Never Burnt By Fire) - opinions, pls?

I wished to see her gone, gone is she now
Into her hell you stepped, by your own will
Oh, in vain my harp I have played for thou
Only in front of her shalt thou still kneel
My darkness doth thou leave aside for her
My hidden face, thou long not for it, no
You look at her common light, you are sir
Cold to me, back to my hell to go
Never have I your promise had, and yet
My lines I have wasted on you for days
My heaven I have gambled in my bet
My hell as well, for you, for this love's craze

Me, dark angel, never burnt by fire
You made me burn: you I so desire

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: I think everyone else got the criticisms I found, but for one-- "Oh, in vain my harp I have played for thou" has my timing thrown off. what if "I have" becomes "I've" and then thou is thee as suggested, first line end "gone now is she" and you still have your rhyming scheme and all is well.

now for my impression:
"dark angel" is not overused unless someone uses it as a cliche description.... but Gupil is a white angel tarnished by her love and desire, burned by its fire. if you can find something else to describe yourself, use it.... but dark angel definitely works for me in this case. ;)