Could someone give me their opinion on this storyline?

Question:

Could someone give me their opinion on this storyline?

I had this storyline in my head for a while.

A 16-year-old girl lives with her family during the beginning years of the Civil War, in a southern town. Her parents take a natural southern view - pro-slavery - but the girl befriends one of the slaves on her family's plantation and her eyes are opened to the harsh life the slaves live. One day she gets it in her head to run away and join the north army, so, after a few months of planning, she steals her older cousin's clothes, cuts her hair with her father's knife, and runs away. She joins a northern army and befriends an 18-year-old in her camp, whom she falls in love with. Later on, as she is fighting, she sees the man she loves fall dead and kills herself one stormy midnight by hanging herself in the camp.

Good? Bad? Please review!

Additional Details

4 days ago
Then how about this? They fight alongside each other in a battle, and she decides she can trust him and tells him she's a woman. He promises to keep her secret and in return falls in love with her and steals away in the middle of the night and sleeps with her. Just after she finds out she is pregnant with his child, he is killed in a battle.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: 4 days ago
Then how about this? They fight alongside each other in a battle, and she decides she can trust him and tells him she's a woman. He promises to keep her secret and in return falls in love with her and steals away in the middle of the night and sleeps with her. Just after she finds out she is pregnant with his child, he is killed in a battle. Wow! In all the months I've been reading this type of question, your idea is the only one that seems complete, interesting and something I'd actually like to read! Excellent! One caution, though: the midnight hanging in camp is a huge, ugly and Biblically symbolic act. There will have to be a solid, logical reason for a suicide this dramatic.

If you'd like to try floating it as a short story before filling it out as a novel, I understand they accept amateur work at The Roll & Shuffle http://pokerpulse.com/news/viewtopic.php... All that's required is a gambling hook of some kind, however minimal.

Good work! Source(s):
Modern Fiction Classics - The Roll & Shuffle - http://pokerpulse.com/news/viewtopic.php... I think it's pretty good.
I'd give it a read for sure. i liked it until she killed herself.....i think she should sleep with some of the freed slaves......instead of the hanging herself part...that would be sweet It has a good plot, but stories should have a happy ending. They could become separated during a battle and she doesn't know if he's alive or dead and goes AWOL to find him. Then she could be arrested for going AWOL and almost killed as a deserter. Then she could reveal her true identity as a woman. I just don't like the sad ending. i liked it. I think that would make a very good story actually once you've entered in all the details, that would make a good novel. however, i don't like the part where she killed herself. I mean maybe...if you made it all dramatic how her love just died. but i didn't like the hanging...maybe give that another thought. lol i think the hanging in camp during the midnight might upset a few readers. but great storyline! there's potential in it Sounds really melodramatic but I guess that's good if you're into that sort of thing. Not very realistic though. Not bad. Has some portential. I like the second ending better. Keep working on it. Good luck.