Question:
Poem!~~!~!?
here is my poem i know it need some help and some dont rhyme but i need u to be ver very very very honest! the first and the third line need to rhyme ( even though some dont) plz help and thanx!!
My Hero
Black, shaggy goatee
Long, dark hair makes him look like a girl
Everytime I see him I'm filled with glee
Bang! My emotions explode everywhere
I am filled with warmth, sorrow, and think about the past
Sometimes I feel my heart tear
He can make tears splash down on my face
He has made stars twinkle in my eyes
He has even mae me feel replaced
Not the best role model as you may see
He forces me to laugh and to think outside the box
But he'll always be a listening ear in the time of need
Taught me everything I know
He raised me and was like a father
When he calls my heart just glows
My brother
My hero
is like no other
Additional Details4 months ago
okay i have been good suggestions but the FIRST AND THIRD LINES HAVE TO RHYME! okay lol thanks though
4 months ago
ok here i just re wrote it tell me wat u think! lol yea i know!
My Hero
Black, shaggy goatee
Scholarly, computer geek
Every time I see him I??m filled with glee
Bang! My emotions explode everywhere
I am filled with warmth, sorrow, and think about the past
Sometimes I feel my heart tear
He can make tears splash down on my face
He has made stars twinkle in my eyes
He is the one I will never replace
Not the best role model as you may see
He makes me laugh and think differently
I know that he will always take the time to listen to me
He taught me everything I know
He raised me and was like a father
When he calls my heart just glows
My brother
My hero
Is like no other
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
"A black, shaggy goatee
Helps show my own hero
Each time I see him I??m filled with glee
My emotions explode everywhere
I fill with warmth, sorrow, and think of the past
Sometimes I feel my heart tear
He can make tears flow down my face
He has made stars twinkle in my eyes
He is the one I can never replace
Not the best role model as you may see
He makes me laugh and think differently
I know that he takes the time to hear me
He taught me everything I need know
He raised me and was like a father
When he calls my heart will only glow
My brother
My hero
Like no other."
I've tried to adapt your poem to flow better. To me, the rhythm is more important, so I've kept most of your end rhymes. I have adjusted your rhythm through your syllables. It is the best I can do to try and keep your integrity. The second line of the first stanza is my tool to keep the reader on the message early and to leave a nice conclusion.