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Question:

Do you like my poem please help me fix the last part?

Fear is grey
It smells like the eerie scent before a diaster
It looks like watching the never ending beatings of a helpless child, in which they endure
It sounds like the cutting scream of your brakes before the splash
It tastes like kising the cheek of an unconscious loved one wondering if he will make it through the crash or wondering if he can live through the fatal gnash or lash
{this is the part i need help with}


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

parts are good however shorten it. i mean take a lot of the its out first off. try smells of an eerie scent,sounds of screeching,kissing the cheeck,end with watching a helpless child endure selfless pain