It is just a rough draft and it may be a little dark but what do you think of th

Question:

It is just a rough draft and it may be a little dark but what do you think of this?

In My Mind!

Some seclude themselves within their minds a break from the world, From everyday stressors, they relax, focus and unwind. In my mind there is no such relief no haven just the dark voices, They haunt me and taunt me to close my life's chapter no peace do I find here in my mind. I can't turn it off, it won't quit! It possesses me, torments me As though it was a demon straight from hell no light, no serenity here in my mind. I want it to stop for someone to rescue me but no one will, The pain is too great the fight has been to long do I just give into what's here in my mind? It drains the very passion from my soul so all that is left is a void, No feelings good or bad all that remains is here in my mind.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

As you said it's a rough draft. It needs some work but all in all it's really not too bad. The final draft should be quite good.