I am putting together a bachleorette party survival kit, for all the bachleorett

Question:

I am putting together a bachleorette party survival kit, for all the bachleorette attendees. Poem wanted!!?

So I am looking for a naughty poem that I can include in the kit, in the past I have come across these poems, unfortunately i cannot remember any of them know that i need one... Help!

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

A blonde girl named Emily Skinner
Would not eat a bite of her dinner
She'd been painting her door
And the man at the store
Had told her she had to get thinner

Once a sleepy blonde server, Liz Dower
Had a dream she was taking a shower
When she woke she construed
She was totally nude
But by God she'd made tips that half hour!

A blonde-haired young lady from Wales
Applied for a job tracking sales
When they asked, "Can you file?"
She proceeded to smile
And held up ten pretty red nails

Acme's chief of financial affairs
Hires as many dumb blondes as he dares
Though they can't do math well
He just thinks that it's swell
To be working with figures like theirs

Here are a few more good, funny limericks by Graham Lester:

He??s charming and handsome and slim
But Mary is dumping her Tim:
He??s unfaithful and brash
And won??t put out the trash,
Although all the trash put out for him.

I awoke late last night in my bed
With a grandiose scheme in my head
For ascending Mount Everest,
But it wasn??t my cleverest,
So I went to the bathroom instead.

??This looks like two squid on two bikes,??
Said the surgeon of poor Michael Sykes,
As he held up the tumor
(He just loved stand-up humor
And could never resist open Mikes).

Arthur Jones to his bride-to-be said,
??I can shoot off this pear from your head.??
Then he missed by a hair,
But he still split a pair,
For there??s lead in the miss he misled

A gambler in debt far too deep
Was needing a way to live cheap,
So he planted by hand
Lots of crops on his land.
Now he just has to weed ??em and reap.

There was a young man from Peru,
who fell asleep in his canoe,
while dreaming of Venus,
he played with his penis
and woke up covered in goo.

Here's to the girl named Louise
Who's pubic hair hung to her knees
the crabs came together,
and knitted a sweater
so in Winter her **** would not freeze!

There was an old woman from leith
Who would circumcise men with her teeth
It wasn`t for fame,
or love of the game
but to get at the cheese underneath

There once was a girl from Nantucket.
Her boyfriend was about to up-chuck it.
she said with a grin,
wipe that *** from your chin.
I told you it's my job to suck it!
There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived off of pigshit and snot.
When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat.

There was a young girl of the Azores
Whose **** was covered in sores
The dogs in the street
Wouldn't eat the green meat
That hung in festoons from her drawers

There once was a woman named Jess
Bisexual, she would confess
She loved a good dick
but ***** she'd lick
and leave both a wet gooey mess