Question:
Critique my poem please?
I only think of you on 2 occasions thats day and night
Your beauty is embedded in my memories
Hoping that 1 day I hold you tight is all I have as I stargaze at night
Wondering who enjoys your company and if you would except my love are my mysteries
I wish I could see the smile on your face as you receive this gift from me
You fascinate me
The only thing greater would be if your fascination becomes me
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Good thoughts - poor execution. My advice is simplify, make it short and sweet until you learn. This is how I would write the same thing you said:
I think of you each day and night,
How I want to hold you tight,
Your beauty will always be,
Engrained inside my memory,
Your mystery surrounds and fascinates me,
Will you accept my love and company?