Question:
Could you help me edit/improve my poems?
what do you all think of my poem. Serious answers only please. I need advice on this stanza f my poem for editing/improving it.
The rhythm of running feet,
Echos its melodic beat,
in my soul I hear their song,
begging me to run along.
then this is another one of my poems,
I hear the children's laughter,
their joyous little cries,
like bluebirds in the summer,
singing through the skies.
Jesus loved the children,
"Suffer them to come to me"
gently He took each one,
and blessed them lovingly.
When Jesus said "love everyone"
I'm sure he meant the children too,
for every single step we take,
they're watching all we do.
Additional Details3 months ago
Good idea with the rap, but I'm not really into rap so I'm not sure that would be the best thing for me to do. :)
Hey, also, does anyone think I can go any where with my poetry, (ok that last coment totally just set me up for sarcastic coments, oh well, lol), I write more seriously than humorous. I'm in eighth grade. Any ideas on how I can go farther with poetry?
3 months ago
Actually neb.A I'm already in church chior and very religous, thanks for being frank and honest though.
3 months ago
So, Neb. A what you mean is take a risk, write about something I don't know? Totally just risk all when I write?
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
if you want frank answer, I'd advise, you better be a choir member in the local church. you are a good church personality and its conservative bent holds a lot of promise for you. poetry may require a bit more radical thought.
good luck