Position:Home>General - Arts & Humanities > Is this poem any good? I would like constructive criticism only!?

Is this poem any good? I would like constructive criticism only!?

Insane Sanity??

Sometimes I think with an uncertain certainty

That maybe I??ve gone crazy??

Sometimes I see with such unclear clarity

The unvarnished, real me??

Sometimes I live in this unreal reality

Where what is can never be??

Sometimes I force a created creativity

Trying to set myself free??

Sometimes I??m possessed by insane sanity

But still embrace it willingly??

3 months ago
About the ellipse marks at the end of every other line, the poem is meant to be read aloud and I like having the reader's voice trail off at those points. When actually spoken aloud, this makes the reader sound just a little lost, which, to me, seems important, since the entire poem is a little confused.

Good flow, easy on the ears, because the listener can get used to the rhythm of the alternating lines. Be careful what words you stress if you do read it aloud. Consider stressing one of the words that is opposite of the other. If you read "uncertain certainty" in the same tone, they mean nothing together. It sounds beatnik, but it works to the listener.

If this is to not be read aloud, consider getting rid of the ellipse marks (the dot-dot-dot). It makes the reader want to stop on a dime and wonder where you're leading in your line. If you just end the sentence, the reader can move his/her eyes along more easily, and get into the flow of the poem.

Good tone. Hopeful and contented emotions, in spite of confusion or conflict. A good read. Cheers.