Question:
My newest poem...Tell me what you think?
Here lies a beautiful soul
By: Adam Snow
The daylight falls into the blackness night. I saw your face once as you fade into the cold murky night. The Shadows gathered to take you away. Your sorrow filled eyes has scorched my naked soul with grief. Your life has fade away, mine is here to stay. The Shadows has taken you home, but I am caught in this dark forsaken world. The mourners grief for you lost and so do I. Your tombstone reads, ??Here lies a beautiful soul.??
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The grammar errors were so distracting that I could not enjoy the poem!
1) "blackness night" Did you mean blackest night?
2) "saw your face as you fade" You changed from past tense (saw) to present tense (fade). Stick with one tense! (change it to faded)
3) "sorrow filled eyes has" Come on people, this isn't difficult! One eye has. Two eyes HAVE!!!
4) your life has fade away ARGGHH!!! HAS FADED!!! Don't they teach verb tense!?!
5) Shadows HAS taken!!! One shadow has, two shadows HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6) "The mourners grief" You mean "grieve"