Question:
Bio-Poem Help...?
Okay, here's the poem:
Nora
Quiet, Entergetic, Outgoing, Fun
Relative Sister Of Hakim
Lover Of Cats, Shopping, Friends, And Chocolate
Who Feels Loved, Cared For, And Royal
Who Needs To Be Pampered, Talked To, And Loved
Who Fears Bugs, The Dark, And Being Wrong
Who Gives Love, Peace, And Happiness
Who Wants To Give The Community Better Transportation, More Parks, And A Clean Enviornment
Who Will Change The World By Stopping Starvation And Disease
Resident Of Milton, Florida
Norris
It just doesn't sound right. Any suggestions please?
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This sounds like an assignment that my teacher gave our class when I was in school. And as I remember it, there were a lot of rules about what each line should be. I think that's the main issue.
I know this is a really personal poem, and I think it is already pretty good. It tells me the type of person you are and what's important to you.
But if you want to make it even better, you can try to express more similar ideas with each line, or even try to have a single theme for the whole poem. For example, "quiet, energetic, outgoing" can be confusing because it's hard to imagine how a person can be both quiet and outgoing. You could explore the idea of "quiet" -- is it because of shyness, or because you enjoy being alone with your thoughts, or because you just like to observe and listen? Are you quiet but love being around people? Or are you more comfortable by yourself? Does "quiet" mean that you don't talk much, or that you talk in a soft voice, or does it refer to a tranquility or calmness in you?