Is this good? I wrote it for fanfiction, just wanna know what you think...??

Question:

Is this good? I wrote it for fanfiction, just wanna know what you think...??

I HATE THEM, I screamed to myself, I hate them for killing James; I hate him for going and leaving me with no real reason to do anything?? They had killed him, so now I would kill, I would kill, I would kill, I was straining to think of a safe way for me to hurt them, in particular to hurt Edward. Then suddenly it hit me, that human girl, the one who caused all the problems. But I couldn??t go there, not now. I will get Laurent to go for me, check it out, see where they are, if their clan has grown, and, to eliminate any signs of danger for me. He will come back and tell me it is safe and I will go and KILL that weak frail human girl. They can do NOTHING to stop me. But, I only have to convince Laurent to do that for me?? Why did he have to make that deal with that clan?? ugh! I hate them! ??Laurent,?? I yelled. ??I need you to do something for me.?? There was no need for me to yell, but I did, for effect. ??What, Victoria??? He demanded, I hate when he is impatient.

Additional Details

3 months ago
. ??I need you to go and make sure it is safe for me to return to Forks.?? ??And why would you want me to do that.?? He asked. ??I want to hurt them for what they did to James, to me, I want them to feel the same thing I am doomed to feel everyday for the rest of my long existence. Pain, a pain that is so excruciatingly ?? real, and the most real emotion I have felt for a long time.?? I stated, with so much emotion, I could hardly believe that it came from me. ??I understand that you are upset but-??
??NO!?? I screamed, cutting him off. ??No trying to be civil with me it won??t work! I am going to go to Forks to kill that weak frail girl, the one they welcomed into their clan, the one they accepted. Edward will hurt like I do.??
??Fine, if you will stop sulking I will leave tomorrow.?? He said, I intended to hold him to that promise.

Sorry I had to post the rest in additional details it was too long, lol, tell me what you think.

3 months ago
It is a fanfiction of Twilight and I have a sequel thing to it, well I am writing more, that is all I have so far.

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

to short and what is it fan fiction of... sorry dont know