Question:
Do You Like This Poem?
Wishing for the perfect moment to be me.
100%,fully,whole and complete.
Seems Impossible I know.
Can't Deny this emptyness, pain i feel inside.
This blog sounds as i poem I admit it.
Can't Imagine how I'd miss it.
But you can tell, you know me better than I know myself.
I know you'll save me from death.
From taking one last breath.
You don't see it but I do.
I Love You.
My poems sound chessy,
I'd wish you'd sweep me off my feet?!
What kind of dreaming is that?
Knowing it won't happen makes my heart burst.
Please, Please don't make it worse.
Thinking about making my day?
Tell me you love me and Keep it that way.
Additional Details2 months ago
Please don't be rude I worked really hard on it.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like some of the thoughts here, but at the end I don't understand who is speaking to me. I get a sense of devotion, a desperate need to have that devotion returned. But if that's the case, why does the poem beat itself up by admitting how impossible and cheesey it is?
I think the poem's modesty waters down the power of the desire within it.