Question:
I need critique please help?
**You are my heart and soul the savior of my life
you are my hot and cold the darkness and the light
I have realized i cannot walk this scattered path alone.
I have realized if i just believe
In your arms i will always have a home.
& when the times get rough
i know that you will be there
& when i make mistakes
I know that you will still care
Youll come to me with open arms
to lift my head back high
youll wipe my tears and say
its okay i'm here for you dont cry
youll point me back to the path
that you have planned for me
Youll have my back no matter what
as long as i believe
you are my heart & soul the savior of my life
you are my hot and cold the darkness & the light
................................. I know punctuation and all of that is off, i have had the worst writers block for about 5 mos and parts of this just popped in my head when i went to write it down i lost a lot of it so this is what was left, its not yet finalized. thanks
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Everyone thinks they're a poet and rarely any are of any quality.
This is banal. I've seen the same drivel many times both here and on deviantart.com
The weakness is in word choice. It seems that there is a lexicon for pretentious poetry that every "poet" seems to tap into. If you want to set your work apart from the rest, you need to make it stand out, and that means picking up a thesaurus and digging deep to find that raw emotion and hit it.
It would be unfair of me to say that you didn't have potential. Everyone has the potential to be a poet (which is why I think so many people try to write poetry), but the true poets are those who can convey a vivid and powerful image, emotion, or tale. I often cite Poe's "The Raven" as a prime example of how to use language in a powerful and vivid manner to convey an almost intangible emotion.
Keep working on your craft, you'll find what you're looking for.