Question on my poem.....?

Question:

Question on my poem.....?

i want to give this to my ex and i just want it to be good so that (him being really stupid) he can actually understand it.

here it is:

Our love/wild and true
As soon as I thought we were becoming something real/
You laugh it all up in my face/
Thoughts of you become/ black and blue

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I think its good. Its short and to the point so your ex will (hopefully) understand. Also you might want to write a letter saying how your feeling change, because, as guy myself, guys are dense. But hopefully he will get the point. ROCK ON!!