Question:
Ok, a poem. Please read and comment.?
The sorrow creeps across my heart,
As I read poems of doom.
Oh God please help these hurtful souls,
And rid them of their gloom.
I read and read,
And cry and cry.
The sorrow just won??t leave,
As I see the children of the world,
Get hurt and pain and bleed.
I try and try to cheer their souls,
But all to no avail.
For no one ever listens to,
A girl that seems to fail.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Your writing is sweet and true to English rhythms. You have some talent and an ear for expression.
Your poem is a plaint, a short lament, and well done, too. But at the end the subject changes most drastically. The sense of empathy that was building is dashed with a line of self deprecating shame.
Please have more faith and confidence in yourself. Just like the piano; poetry, school, relationships, life, whatever, take work and perseverance. Hang in there, and you won't "seem to fail."
Please keep writing.