Question:
Thought on this?
What do you think of this poem?
--untitled, about apathy--
To write, to sing to laugh, to cry,
Expect emotion, expect compassion and care,
But to myself such an existence is simply not there.
Delusioned and pretending
I can never completely mask this indifference,
And just find that apathy constantly persists this,
This mind, this life, this everything is void of all that matters,
But what is to matter? Can you want what you can??t miss?
Can you anticipate something that isn??t there?
Why answer when I don??t even care.
I??d like to think I truly am what some thoughts behold me of,
But for now I suppose,
I shall never truly rise above.
Honest opinions please. =)
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is the job of the poet to create words when they are needed. Delusioned is just fine. Might you have added "pretendinged" it could've looked better.
It is also the job of the poet to give art to language, to make poetic beauty.
Where is the rhythm and the deep, human, artistic empathy of your words? Flat, it seems.
Go find them, put them back in the expression, and bring us new images of language as art.