Question:
What do you think of my poem?
Human's Disturbance
Sitting by the water's edge,
Watching the world go by,
While wild, rugged waves
Pound against the shore.
As the sun sets the makr of night,
I watch the aurora shimmer above.
Wolves howl mercilessly,
Their cries resounding from afar,
As a cool, swift breeze
Carries on from the ocean.
But even the most wonderful things
Are never meant to last.
Ships disrupt nature's peace
As a deep foghorn blows,
Waking those asleep.
Nature does know best,
Yet still we interfere.
We try too hard to change
What needn't be altered .
Go enjoy it now
For soon, it may be too late,
And have changed forevermore.
Please give me too the point, no beating around the bush criticism. Point out what you like and dislike, how I could improve it, etc..Detailed, honest answers are appreciated. Be honest & frank without being rude. Thanks! :)
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Pretty good, but there are a few cliches that I probably would try to modify... "watching the world go by..." "resounding from afar"... things like that. Also, I think that the ending is too straightforward for my tastes -- I enjoy poetry that leaves you pondering, not tells you straight out what to think.
You've got a great start; good luck!