Question:
What do you think of my poem? Please rate it...?
Please take it seriously... what are the pros and cons and rate it on a scale of 1-10. It's about a man who's wife left him for a woman and he was so hurt that he wanted to get back at his wife so he stole his wife's lover from her so know he had the last laugh.
Additional Details7 months ago
I gave you my trust...
you buried it in dust
I gave you my heart...
you tore it apart
I gave you a home...
you abandoned it and went to Rome
I gave you a family...
you abandoned us to be with your lover, Amalie
Now you see what I must do
I must take a thing or two from you
So don't get mad at me, you see...
While you were out with Amalie
I was thinking about getting back at you??
And I know you were so hurt that Amalie left you for someone else, but did you even have a clue?
That I was the man that stole Amalie from you?
You thought you had the last laugh didn't you?
Well guess what? Your not the only one that can play this game...
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The context of the poem is good, and the message is also satisfactory for the length. It's a tad bit repetitive, but that's okay if you want people to really understand what you're trying to say.
However, I am not a fan of the rhyming. Rhyming poetry is very hard, which is why I usually try to stay away from it. Some of your rhymes, like 'Rome' or 'Amalie' seem forced and confuse the reader or contradicts the actual intent of the rhyming poem - to make it flow.
The best advice I can give is to really focus on reading it through the reader's eyes and forget the idea of rhyme.
Good luck and don't give up!!
(P.S. I cannot rate a poem from 1-10. It's unethical. A poem is sacred to every individual, especially the author. It's like rating thoughts or emotions of a person...it isn't valid. It all comes down to how satisfied YOU are with it. It's your creation.)