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Question:

Same poem i posted before..but i revised it?

"Bloody Majesty"


You,
are unknown
By the mortals
Who surround you

They,
are not aware
of your presence
But you show
no sign
of anguish,
or disturbance

Alone, Forlorn, Abandoned
You rest
In the menacing
darkness

As every second
passes by
Your thoughts
become
a reality

You are never
to come out
Or show
your face
In public

You come
alive
Under full moons
When everyone
Is asleep

You reign
Over loners,
Fallen angels

They accompany you
As you start
Your journey
To the mystical world
Of forgotten dreams

There
You are accepted
For your scars
And your tears
Of blood

There
Is where
You feel
Your own
Existence

You are
The bloody majesty
Of all
The broken
And incomplete
Souls

Additional Details

7 months ago
What do u think of it?

7 months ago
What do u think of it?


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

i'm not captivated by it or anything but it is better than anything i've read today. i like the subject matter- it's unusual in comparison to anything i see here in answers, but like i've said to almost everyone today, you need more original language. it can't just be like something removed from a short story and broken up into half scentences to look like a poem. it has to be beautiful or original or something that leaves me enrapt.