This is another poem, is it trashy or is it alright?

Question:

This is another poem, is it trashy or is it alright?

Surrender

I usher in the air
And let it infuse my being
Defend my lifting limbs against
The placid lake

Floating rigidly
I watch the golden leaves glow
With the cool sheen of the night
Stars winking behind the brittle veins.
Beckoning me to join them
In their dance
Dusk to deathly dawn.

I turn away

The air breaks from me
I am alone
Inch by inch by inch
The water is advancing
Drooling on my limbs
Seeping between my eyelashes
My teeth
Demanding attention
Receiving none
Drowning in fluidity

I let myself fall
It is inevitable
Depths unimaginable
Purging lies and half truths
Absolute purity waits in solitude

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

i really like some of the language you use and some of it i don't like it all. for instance i wouldn't describe the lake as 'placid'. it's overused since they made an alligator movie with betty white. really just find the stuff in here that's overused and cut it or revise it. there's not much which is very rare these days. also, try to work in an ophelia reference. she drowned in much the same peaceful way as the narrator of this poem (assuming you are drowning literally)