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...seeking poetic "props" -or- "nots"...?

A second poem... What is your take on this one?


Journey of Nines.

Steadfast we sail.
Thru a thoughtless ocean.
Alas the break occurs.
And puts madness in motion.

Baffled by truth.
Fortitude we seek.
Such reality is moot.
Is comfort we think.

Yet here we arrive.
Where everything ends.
At the point of all blankness.
Where everything begins.

Away from old habits.
Can we step from old skins.
Can we radically trust.
That the spirit shall mend.

Not always complete.
Our journey of Nines.
The cycles of life.
Where past still Blinds.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

By putting the period at the end of each line, it causes a long pause. Usually this would command reflection, but it's hard to reflect on a fragment such as "Thru a thoughtless ocean." Maybe a comma would be better?

You have some really strong lines, but the punctuation and abstract word choice make your poem confusing. For example, lines 1 and two of your second stanza are nice but then I'm not sure what the intent of 3 and 4 is.