I wrote a poem recently (very amature) tell me what you think be honest?

Question:

I wrote a poem recently (very amature) tell me what you think be honest?

for one more day i want to get lost in your eyes

for one more day i want to stroke your long silky hair

for one more day i want to hold your hand

for one more day i want to hold you in my arms

for one more day i want to kiss you goodnight

for one more day i want to feel like the luckiest man on earth

if only if only i had one more day

if only if only we had one more day

nathan, 12

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

For your age, and that fact that you're probably only starting out writing, I'd say it's not bad. It's quite generic, cliched, nothing new. Nathan, just remember, the more you experience in life, and the longer you keep writing, the more you improve. The best of luck.