Just curious to hear opinions or any constructivness on this poem i have wrote.

Question:

Just curious to hear opinions or any constructivness on this poem i have wrote.?

I'm the one who waits
I'm the one who believes
I'm the one who waits
In the pile of leaves

I'm the one who breaths
I'm the one who lives
I'm the one who breaths
In the sand filled pits

I'm the one who warms
I'm the one who hopes
I'm the one who warms
In the blistering cold

I'd save you from the storm
I'd help you become reborn
We'd fly through the clouds
And we'd be off those swallowing grounds

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I like it..... It almost sounds like Metallica. Has great rhythm.
Perhaps:"I`d save you from the storm
I`d help you become reborn
We`d fly through the clouds
off swallowing grounds....
off swallowing grounds......

Well, the tone of it is like in Po`s sonets...
Good work.