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Question:

My poem - could you give, suggestions opinions?

Weeds cry

Dry, dry, brown, crackly, dead stalks, dry.
Yet dear weed, you lift your green head to the sky
Thunder rolls it beats the sky
Clouds getting darker they roll by.
Cats and kittens and many a child
Will hide as thunder gets so wild
Soon the rain, the skies will cry
All gone the brown, the dry, dry.

Oh weed, other plants will now bloom
Your time alone, the only green, will be gone soon
People pour out to feel the rain.
Farmers, gardeners will feel less pain
Colours of every kind will abound
Beauty once more will be all around
Yet will any-one remember the weed
Yes, I??ll look forward to your new seed

I'm Australian and it's the end of a hot summer.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It really need work. and it's very ordinary. Not to say you did not put thought into this, but it's rather trite, at least in my opinion. If I give you too many suggestions or my actual opinion beyond what I have said, I am fairly sure, like so many others on this site, you will become very angry. Here is the deal: People always claim to want honest opinion and critiques on their poetry and other writings, and then when they get it, most become very angry/emotional, and begin reporting those who do not like their poetry, and then begin insulting those people. I am not saying you would do this, but I think it's best not to ask others what they think unless you are prepared for real criticism and can take those opinions that are not necessarily flattering to your owrk. I find most people cannot.