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Question:

Poem?!?!?!?

I need some feedback on this poem for school!!
[not for punctuation]

WHen I am sad

When I am sad I think about laughter on a rainy day, the smell of my favorite foods and going to bed early after a bad day

WHen I am sad, I think about the smell of a new car, the taste of my moms chicken soup and the music that's stuck in my head.

When I am sad I think about my sister coming home from college, the sound of a pencil scribbling away, and the clapping as I walk up to the podium

When I am sad I think about all the happy things in life and how lucky I am to have the life that I have today


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

well, not all poetry is in verse and in rhyme.

so anyway, about the poem...
it wasn't exactly the painting-the-imagery type of poetry. as a fellow poet, I suggest you use more figures of speech to create the picture slowly, instead of bringing out the big picture.

honestly, if you take away the structure, it'll sound like an essay. poetry isn't like that. if you take away the structure, fine, it will be an essay too, but it would be..well, poetic.