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Question: Story help!?!?!!?! 10pts best answer!!!!?
Is there anything you would change about this scene!?

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When the phone rang again, a few seconds later, she picked up the receiver!.

"Sarah, its me!." Lucas!.

"Now if this isn't weird Luke!. First you show up at my work, you take me to lunch and now you're calling at strange hours of the night", she exaggerated playfully!.

"This is kinda inappriopate dont you think!?"She pulled out a chair from the kitchen table to sit in upon waiting for his laugh or a witty remark, but she was greeted with silence instead!.

"Luke!?"Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Just a few minor changes:

When the phone rang again a few seconds later, she picked up the receiver!.

"Sarah, it's me!." Lucas said!.

"Now if this isn't weird, Luke!. First you show up at my work, then you take me to lunch, and now you're calling at strange hours of the night," she exaggerated playfully!.

"This is kinda inappropriate, don't you think!?" She pulled out a chair from the kitchen table to sit in, waiting for his laugh or a witty remark, but she was greeted with silence instead!.

"Luke!?"



Check your spelling, separate the sentences a little more, and remember that commas go BEFORE the quotation marks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I wouldnt change anythng! Just fix you punction and grammar! (i am so bad at that) I want to know what happens!. If you are writting a book thats a great cliff hanger!! Best of luck! =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

LOVE IT!!!! Just check your spelling!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

keep itWww@QuestionHome@Com

no! its perfect! i want to know what happens next! hahaWww@QuestionHome@Com