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Question: What do you think of my story!? (I'm not a teen yet)!?
Um, well, I'm just letting you know I'm not in my teen years yet and I'm 10!. I love writing stories and yeah!.!.!. this is one of them!. And maybe even rate it!. xD

I stared at my CD player!. It was playing one of my favourite songs!. The sound filled my dusty, old attic room!. It was quite lonely up here!. But I was sure it was better than being down there with my uncaring family!. Of course I had Selena but I was still lonely out of my mind!. My CD player was an old, rusty thing!. It depressed me so much just to be up here listening to music!. My CD player was the only thing in my room apart from a torn, dusty poster of Madonna, an extremely small window which unfortunately I couldn’t fit through and an ancient bookshelf full of dust covered books!. The only thing I ever did was read and listen to music!. I slept on the floor which included having nightmares every night!. I’d give anything to get away from this bleak room of depression!. The window was too small and Selena refused to break the house rules!. Selena was the only one who had respected me when I arrived at my Grandmother’s house!. And you’re probably wondering about the door!. But I couldn’t escape through there either!. It was bolted shut!. I wasn’t strong enough to knock it down and my best friend Selena refused to get in trouble!. But I knew someday I would be able to find a way out into the sunlight which I hadn’t been able to see for nine years!. My thoughts were interrupted as a loud screech echoed through the house!. And I knew at once that it had something to do with me!. “Cassandra Star come downstairs immediately!” a loud voice rang angrily up the long, spiral staircase!. I was extremely embarrassed that my last name was Star, but it’s not like it matters… “CASSANDRA!” the voice yelled sounding much more furious now!. “YOU’VE GOT TO UNLOCK THE DOOR FIRST!” I screamed back my hands shaking from fury!. I could hear stiletto heels thumping their way up the stairs!. I knew at once that it was Grandma Heather!. She never stepped foot anywhere without stilettos on, she even slept with them on!. “What’s the problem, Gran!?” I asked in my most innocent voice when she had unlocked the rusty, old door!. “It was you! Don’t act innocent! I know you did it, Cassandra!” Heather fumed pointing a long bony finger at me with a manicured nail!. “Did what, Gran!? I don’t recall-“ I started to say but was cut off by a very annoyed Heather!. “I don’t care what excuses you try and come up with, you know it was you!” she yelled at the top of her lungs!. I stared at her and said confused, “I didn’t put a foot out of line, Gran, honest!.” Suddenly I saw Selena waving at me from the door!. Lucky Heather had her back turned!. I just managed to see her mouth, “Come on! This is your chance to escape!” she beckoned for me to come while Heather was babbling on about all the terrible things I did!. How can she possibly believe it was me who did all those things when the attic door is always locked!? I didn’t want to waste anymore time so I sprang out the door and grabbed Selena’s hand!. I was so excited that I could finally see the sun again although mostly it was always raining!. I gasped in delight and I couldn’t believe how easy that was when we had finally sprung out of the door, we could suddenly hear the sound of a very loud, angry scream of rage!. We heard stiletto heels thumping against the floorboards in a rush to get me before it was too late!. I leapt into my old car and started the engine!. I hadn’t driven in ages but I knew this was one of my only chances to get away from my little attic room!. And this is one thing you should know before we get any further into the story!. Selena is a vampire!. She doesn’t drink human blood, she drinks blood from cattle!. She gets very thirsty sometimes!. Heather nor any of the other family members know Selena’s big secret except me!. It took me quite a while to calm down and accept what she was but I finally did!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It sounds like a 10 year old's writing!. Which is not a bad thing since you are 10!.

Keep practicing and you will get better!.

Words of advice:
Do not use all caps in a story unless it's an acronym!.
Break your story into readable paragraphs!. One idea, one paragraph!.
Same goes for dialogue!. Each speaker should have his/her own paragraph, even if it is only one word!.
Do not use exclamation points in a novel!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think you should try and write something that isn't inspired byTwilight!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

take it 2 a publisher long 4 a question but i think its good i like vampiresWww@QuestionHome@Com

Oh nooooo! I want to read the rest of it!!
Very interesting!. Good plot!. Good intro of characters, subtly implied back story!. Great beginning!.
Only advice is to tighten up the sentences!. Watch for 'Heather fumed pointing a long bony finger at me with a manicured nail' (She used her manicured nail to point a long bony finger!?) Try "Heather fumed as she pointed her long bony fingers with their immaculately manicured nails" or Heather fumed at me and with perfectly manicured nails she pointed her long bony finger !. !. !. you get the idea!. Not nitpicking at all, the story is great!. I see a lot of potential!. Great start!. Keep it up!. Dang! I want to read the rest of it!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

hi just read ur story its fantastic!11 specially the start, middle and the last paragraph lol
even tho your 10 you hav very good writing skillz :)

Keep up the gr8 work !
id love to c more of ur work in the future

Yourgoodpal
-LeeWww@QuestionHome@Com

I think that it is a great story, but you need to stop basing your stories on Twilight!. I think that if you made the entire of your story from scratch, then maybe when you are older you could get your stories published!.

I know that I would read your stories even if they did cost money!Www@QuestionHome@Com