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Question: Is this a good poem!? What would make it better!.!?
Expectations
Why do we keep expecting,
Everything to be alright!?
Why do we keep thinking,
We're special in someone's sight!?
Isn't everybody,
Just in it for themselves!?
And why should we care,
About anybody else!?
Maybe it's time to expect less!.
Maybe it's time to put it down!.
This thought that it can be good,
All your faithful friends around!.
I just want one true friend!.
Someone who will never say no!.
That it's just too hard,
And that they have to go!.
Expectations!.
--Cheryl RiddleWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like it!. I think that if you got rid of the commas in the first and second stanzas it would flow much nicer!. also, the last stanza is a little confusing!. Is it all supposed to be one sentence!? Because that would make much more sense!. And I would change "someone who will never say no" to something with maybe one or two less syllables!. It feels like a mouthful in that spot!. Maybe instead try "someone who will not say no" or "someone who'll never say no" or "somebody who won't say no"!.
Those are just my personal opinions though!.
Nice work :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Work on the last part!. It really doesn't make that much sense to me!. Good job on it though you seem to have a lot of talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's really goodWww@QuestionHome@Com