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Question: Please rate my short story!?
I walked into the classroom and sat down in my assigned seat!. Mrs!. Kate started to write something on the board!. Objective: TEST!. We have a test today I didn't know that!. I didn't even study!. Did she even mention this last class!? Is this some sort joke!? I can't fail a test I already have enough things to worry about!. How could I have forgotten this!? Oh please let it be a multiple choice test!. I quickly started to review my notes before the class started

“Alex” I looked at up at the call of my name!.

“I got an email telling me to send you to the principal's office, you can go after you finish the test”

Principal's office! What did I do!? I tried to remember but nothing came to my mind!. Mrs!. Kate passed out the test!. Multiple choice!. Awesome!. Ten more question to go, something triggered in my brain of why I would be called to principal's office!. My hands suddenly seemed so sweaty!. My pencil marks were smearing, I was starting to feel so stupid!.

I tried to focus on my Algebra II/Trig!. test!. Graph the absolute val!.!. !. my stomach started to knot, I looked at the scantron and quickly bubbled in the answers without even looking at the questions!. Got up and handed my test to the teacher, took a pass and made my way out!.

It was a mistake!. I mean they wouldn't kick me out would they!. How can they know it was me I mean!. My throat was staring to burn!. I felt sick just thinking about what I had done, and then a sudden feeling, something churning in my stomach making its way up my esophagus!. It came up into my mouth but I was no where near the bathroom and forced myself to swallow the vomit!. This is great my mouth now stinked and tasted horrible!. I started to walk faster towards the principal's office!.

I reached my hand out knocked on the door and went in!. Sitting down I searched his face for a sign but his face was expressionless!. He passed a folder to me with my name on it and motioned for me to open it!. Sweat was trickling down my neck, and my palms were sweaty which I wiped against my jeans but my socks were starting to stick to my toes making me so uncomfortable!. I opened the folder, I quickly flipped through the pages!. These were all my school records, all the grades that I had ever received, all the schools I had ever been too!. Skimming something caught my attention, it was an acceptance letter to Craiford Academy but I hadn't applied!. This was it I knew it they were kicking me out!.

“Congratulation Mrs!. Mason, you have been accepted to Craiford Academy”

What's his problem I don't want to go to a new school!.

“Thanks, for the opportunity I'll think about it!.” I shook his hand and left quickly feeling uneasy!.



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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The short story is really good!. i would give it a 9 out of 10!.
here is what i would change!.
Change the teacher getting an email to a phone call, most principals call!. ( just to seem logic!. but this doesnt HAVE to be changed!.)


<Multiple choice!. Awesome!. Ten more question to go>

it doesn't make sense it should be like
Multiple Choice!. Awesome!. when i was at the last ten questions!.!.!.!.

it should be either Algebra 2 or Trig!. i dont think a slash should be there!.


Others may find other things that need to get chagned!. but this is what i believe!. i hope it helps and you win :D

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oh i like it!.!.!.i don't really get it though!.!.!.what happened in the end!? but i guess i like not knowing!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think this is decent, but there are some things I'd change!.
1!. I agree with another poster in saying that the "email" is a bit unrealistic!. I've never heard of them emailing for kids to go to the office!.
2!. The vomit part!. I think it's pretty unnecessary!. You could still explain they're nauseated without saying vomit came up into their mouth!.
3!. I really don't think this story makes much sense!. I understand you were trying to make it so the reader questions what happens, but I think you can do it in a better way!. I think you're a good writer and can make it happen without having the reader think, "Uhhh!.!.!.what!?"Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's very good!. Left me wanting more though!. I'm not a big fan of stories that end like yours!.!.!.I need an ending but having said that, compared to other stories I have read that do leave you wondering it's really good!. Did you mean to write 'Mrs Mason" and not Miss or Ms!? That really got me wondering *smile*Www@QuestionHome@Com