Ok, I am writing a book and I need some opinions!. Help me out!? By the way this is a small portion of CHAPTER 2!.
"Is she gonna' live!?" a voice slurred, a bit paniced!. "Of course!." Another voice spoke, but then quietly whispered, "I hope!." Primrose soon recognized the voices of Lion and Liefie, (pronounced - Leef-e-ay) Primrose tried to say something, anything to reassure them that she was okay, but nothing came out!. Her sore body flinched with effort!. And soon, another voice came into the conversation, "Is Primrose okay!?" the voice spoke quietly as though not to disturb her!. Liefie spoke again, "Yes, Moonlight, Primrose will be fine, at least within a few days of rest!." Liefie paused before continueing, "Now please, Moonlight, go back to sleep!. Your wounds are very severe!." she pleaded to him!. "Sure, sure!." Moonlight replied clearly very deep in thought!. Liefie sighed, then padded out of the den!. Primrose pricked her ears for Lion, but since she didn't hear him anymore, she guessed he must have left!. She flinched from her sore body and the last thing she remember was being ambushed from a dog and hitting a tree; hard, then seeing nothing but red!. Primrose opened her eyes, her vision was blurry at first, but after a second they cleared!. She was laying down inside a hollow tree, with a moss bed beneath her!. and two others across from her!. Big tree, she thought to herself as she staggered to her paws, trying not to wake the sleeping Moonlight as she quickly examined him!. He had bandages all over his muzzle and torso, Primrose felt a quick stab of guilt, and remembered their fateful walk when they were ambushed!. She shuddered and quickly sat back down in her own bed!. Suddenly Liefie padded in, "Oh, Primrose!" She meowed happily!. "I'm so glad you're awake!. Many cats have been here to visit you!." Primrose nodded her head, afraid to speak incase her voice cracked from not speaking in so long!. Liefie looked at her cautiously and sniffed her all over, "Are you sure you're okay!?" she asked her!. Primrose nodded, still afraid to speak!. Liefie sighed again and before she could ask any more questions, Primrose darted out of the hollow!. Not trusting her senses, or her nosy brother, Lion!. Primrose exhaled loudly and sat on her haunches!. "What am I going to do!?" She sighed!. "I've nearly killed Moonlight and now I'm worrying everyone!." She sighed again!. Then suddenly, Primrose caught a strange scent in the air!. She lifted her nose in the upwind direction!. And a big black dog came out!. Oh bloody he ll!. She thought as she remembered the same dog that had injured and nearly killed her and Moonlight!. Primrose bared her teeth at the dog and the dog snarled at her!. "You're mine!." She spat as she lunged for his furry throat, but caught his shoulder instead!. The dog shook her off and pinned her to the soft muddy ground!. "No you're mine!." The dog growled just before getting a hold of her small throat in his jaws!.
Please tell me what you think!. By the way, please be honest!. I am 13 and i need the TRUTH!. And please ask me any questions you have about my book!. Thanks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com