Im writing a horror story about a killer and im not sure about the best way to g

Question: Im writing a horror story about a killer and im not sure about the best way to get rid of the body!.!.!. help!!?

hes a messy killer!.
please help im really stuck!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

Household items!? Sulfuric acid is available at most hardware stores as an extra-strength drain cleaner!. A hotel would likely have the strong stuff available for dealing with clogged toilets as quickly as possible so their rooms can generate revenue again after a major backup!.

A few gallons in a slop sink should take care of dismembered body parts (check back episodes of CSI for details)!. And remember, hotel dumpsters are probably emptied daily, so remaining evidence (bones, teeth) wouldn't hang around too long!.

Could always store a body in one of those ice machines (and hang an "out of service" sign on it, until you get around to disposing of the body)!. Of course, since you'd have to keep it running to preserve the unlucky corpse, some smartass customer would probably insist on filling his bucket from it!.!.!.!.!.!.!.and discover a ring!.!.!.!.!.on a finger, on a hand, etc!.

See, I just gave you a way to have a body discovered - and another victim that we have to kill off so he doesn't alert the authorities!. I'll send you my address so you can forward a check for my share of the royalties!.!.!.

If it's a substantial hotel, they've probably got a freezer big enough to store a body or two (for the kitchen staff to find, giving us more witnesses to rub out)!. I'll work up the scenes with the kitchen killings!. Remember, they're armed with big knives and meat cleavers and long forks!. And since they'll outnumber the killer, he'll have to dispatch them one-by-one!. As you mentioned, the killer's messy, so the housekeeping staff must be noticing that something's going on!. We'll have to kill them too or, better yet, make one of them a psycopath who joins the original killer in his spree!.

My share of that royalty check seems to be growing!. Have we started negotiating film rights!? And casting!? How about we give Paris Hilton a career and cast her as the killer, and I see Dennis Hopper as a one-eyed janitor who becomes her ally, helping her clean up the mess but ultimately going too far and, for the sheer homicidal joy of it, killing Paris by forcing her head into a trash compactor!. Audiences will eat it up!.

So get moving on the book and we'll talk about the screenplay!. I can knock it off in a week or so, but will need creative control and executive producer credit!.

Have you though much about merchandising tie-ins, you know, drain cleaner, ice buckets; I should get a share of the net profit off those too, right, partner!?

Of course, we've still got Dennis Hopper running around with his eye patch, mop bucket and lust for blood!. Either we resolve this by having him face off with some disinterested cop two days from retirement - wait, Harry Shearer - he can inject some black humor into the whole thing, and he's got to have a young female partner with a law degree and a body to die for - or, better yet, Nicole Ritchie, think of the irony) or the narrowly evades detection and capture, giving us an opportunity for a sequel!.

You know, I can be bought off!. Let's start talking, you can have my share of the book royalties and tie-ins for an extra 15% of the net movie gross, 25% of the sequel!. It's only fair that you get the bigger share since, after all, you did do some work on the project!.!.!.!.!.

But now we're hearing that sulfuric acid won't work, at least in drain cleaner strength!. Then it's doubtful that the hydrochloric acid sold for stone etching or the potassium hydroxide-based drain cleaners will work either!. I'm sure we could have the killer use them to disfigure the bodies to avoid identification, but if television has taught us anything, it's that you can confirm anyone's identity using a shred of hair or fingernail to extract their DNA and get it done in the 46 minjtes you've got to tell a story around commercials!.

So here's the deal: we don't dispose of the bodies!. We just hide them until we can frame someone else for the killing!. Then the framed person dies in the least mysterious way possible!. A disease they've had for 30 years is ideal!. So we frame someone who's already at death's door! I amaze myself with this stuff, you're gonna have to raise my pay again!.

My people will call your people!. Let's make it dinner!. Your agent pays!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

1: Chops up the body and put it in a vat of acid!.

2: Buries the body in a remote area!.

3: Eats the body!.

4: Chops up the body, minces it, then makes sausages!.

5: Body buried in the back yard (an oldie but a goodie)!.

6: Feed alligators or lions the body

7: Dump the body in an industrial bin

8: Dump the body in a tip/car wrecking yard

9: Fridge

10: Hides the body in the roof of the local high school!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Bring the body to the lake and put a weight on it then throe it!. But put a GPS tracking device so the killer will know the location of the body and by knowing the location of the body he can plan ahead before being caught!. Don't tell this to CSI I never seen any show or movie that made this idea!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wash everything in bleach!. The whole room will glow under luminol rather than just the blood!. Put the bodies through a chipper-shredder and spread it over a garden spot and till it in!. Maybe let the chickens eat it!.
Sulfuric acid will not dissolve a body!. also try dumping a body in deep ocean!.Www@QuestionHome@Com