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Question: College essay help!!?!!?! can you critique it!.!.!.!?
Please help me!.
tell me anything i should take out (its too long), grammer issues, is it boring, do you understand the earthling story, what about the race question story!? I am applying to UCONN, drexel, temple, Long island U, st!. johns!.

Who am I!? A question most people ask themselves as they make their step across the threshold from childhood to adulthood!. A question difficult for most people to answer, especially difficult for me!. I was born in one country, raised in another!. With this came two cultures, two languages, two homes and many obstacles along the path to realizing my personal identity!.
I was born in former Yugoslavia, in the state of Bosnia and Herzegovina, in 1991 about a year before the Bosnian War broke out!. When the war ended four years later, my parents, brother and I left behind our devastated home for a new life in America!. Once in America, we were classified as aliens, permanent residents that are not United States nationals!. This is exactly how I felt, alienated!. Even though everyone tried their best to make me feel comfortable, I still felt a fence between me and America!. I go back to Bosnia every other year, and just like in America, I don’t feel quite at home!. In America, I am seen as a Bosnian, and in Bosnia, I am seen as an American!.
Not many people in America have the name (my name), and not many people are English translators for their parents since the age of five!. While my name and language do make me different, this is a small difference compared to my faith!. Even though there are many Muslims living in America today, I feel that my religion is the biggest difference between me and America!. When I was in 5th grade, I took my first standardized test!. When it came to the race question, my best friend in the class put down other!. She was Muslim like me, but from Africa!. So I put down other!. Being a Muslim in America makes me a minority, but being a white Muslim in America places me in an even smaller circle!. When most people think of Muslim, they think of Africans or Arabs with dark skin tones, who wear hijabs or turbans!. After September 11th 2001, there have been many misconceptions about Muslims!. Since its hard to identify my faith by just looking at me, people have made derogatory comments about muslims around me that make me upset, but I never say anything as to not make the situation worse!.
While I am in the dark when it comes to such things as Bosnian pop culture, teen lifestyles, and slang, nothing makes me feel more like a stranger in my own country of birth than my difficulties with communication!. Even though I am fluent in Bosnian, everyone can notice my American accent and inaccurate use of words!. When I go to Bosnia over vacation I’m not there long so I want to catch up with my family as much as I can!. This gets difficult because I always have to think before I speak and many times I never end up saying what I want to say!. When I do make a mistake, most adults kindly correct me and comment on how cute my Bosnian is, but kids are never that considerate!. This past summer, I found my 12 year old cousins toy alien in my purse!. The word for alien in Bosnian would be “van zemaljac” with the literal translation being “out of earthling”!. I gave her the toy back and said, “Here’s your “zemaljac!.” She burst out in laughter that lasted for an excruciating five minutes!. I had accidentally said earthling instead of alien!. Though this is not that big of a deal it was made into a huge deal that made me feel so foreign in my own country!.
It may sound as if I’m complaining about not always fitting in, but really I see my background as a learning experience!. Being different from all the people around me has taught me a lot about myself and shaped the person I am today!. It has enabled me to answer the question, “Who am I!?” The answer is, I am me: a unique, independent, driven and passionate person who is accepting of everyone that doesn’t fit the mold, regardless of their race, ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, disability, or national origin in a new generation in which people value their heritage while embracing a more diverse America!. Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Are you looking for constructive criticism!?
Because I can do that, but it tends to be "harsh" in most people's eyes!.!.!.!.
I don't look to point out only the negative aspects, but also the positive!. However, I do not "sugar coat" things!. If this is the type of critique you are looking for, let me know and I'd be more than happy to do it!.
:]

EDIT:
Okie dokie!.
I'lll read and edit tonight, and get back to you by tomorrow!.!.!.
You should have it back in no more than thirty-six hours!.!.!.!.
Can I paste it in a word document and use the 'Comment' tool and then!.!.!.send it to you via email!? That would be easiest for me, but if you're uncomfortable with that I'm sure we can figure something out!.

EDIT:
Email is sent!. :]Www@QuestionHome@Com