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Question: I wrote this; what do u think of it!?
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Chapter One – The News

I tried to wipe away my tears!. But could I!? No, of course not!. I couldn’t believe it!. I didn’t want to believe it!. I just wanted it to be a nightmare, not reality!. I pinched myself, once, twice!. But the same blurry, shaking, wet vision remained!.
I tried to stand up from my bed but I couldn’t!. ‘Come on, get a hold of yourself Rylee,’ I thought!.
I crawled to the edge of my bed, and stuck one foot out of the area of my bed!. I tapped my toes to the carpet of my floor gently, and the same with my other foot!. I dragged myself to my computer and forced my trembling fingers to write this e-mail to my best friends!.

To : NYCgrl204, nickinick, summer!.rox, luckyducky465
From : rylee_krail
Subject : AAAAHHHH! Help me plzzzzz

I cant blieve dis! help me! respond asap! waah! o I cant take it-im moving!! *sniff*

I really couldn’t believe it!. My dad got a job in Phoenix!. I need to move there according to my dad!. I was born and raised in New York City…now I have to live a whole new life!. I’m in 7th grade, in the 2nd semester!. It’s currently November 29th and I have to leave on December 30th!. Isn’t it wrong!?!!?! I only have a month until I have to go away…forever!.
I scrawled in my diary :



Dear Diary :
This is officially my last November in New York City!. I have to move to freaking Phoenix, Arizona!. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I do not wanna move! What about my BFFs, Hannah, Nicki, Summer, and Ari!? Uggh I can not take this!. Bye!.
Rylee K

“Rylee!?” my mom’s voice whispered outside the door, “Can I come in!?”
“No!.”
“Ok, well I’ll leave this pizza for you outside your room!. But you better come get it before Lizzy does!.” My mom chuckled!.
I didn’t say anything, but I crawled to my door and got the pizza and root beer!. Okay, maybe it was my favorite lunch in the world but I still angry!. Very angry!.
I pulled my short brownish hair back as I chewed into the cheesy warm slice!. Then, a little ding came from my computer!. I stood up and peered at my screen!. I got an e-mail from Hannah Martinez, my BFF since pre-school!.

To : rylee_krail
From : NYCgrl204
Subject : re : AAAAHHHH! Help me plzzzzz

I cant blieve dis! help me! respond asap! waah! o I cant take it-im moving!! *sniff*

No way !! u have got 2 b kidding! Make ur parents say no!!!!! I cant even think of u not here in NYC!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO no my BFFL!!!!

I replied :

To : NYCgrl204
From : rylee_krail
Subject : re : AAAAHHHH! Help me plzzzzz

I cant blieve dis! help me! respond asap! waah! o I cant take it-im moving!! *sniff*

No way !! u have got 2 b kidding! Make ur parents say no!!!!! I cant even think of u not here in NYC!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO no my BFFL!!!!

I cant help it, its official!! chat w/ me I have 2 move in like a month & yes, a few days after X-MAS!!!

I wiped my tears one last time as I clicked on ‘chat’ on NYCgrl204!. Then finally, she said something!.

Hannah : ryleeeeeeeeeeee
Rylee : hannahhhhhhhhhhh
Hannah : when r u moving!?!?
Rylee : dec 30! Isn’t that CRAZY!?!!?!?!!?!!?!
Hannah : WAT!?! That’s really crazy!
I cant live w/out u!
Rylee : ik…!.i cant live w/out u
Hannah : can I come over!?
Rylee : uhhh…I really want u 2 but I luk really bad rite now
Hannah : idc! I need 2 c u
Rylee : ok
Ask ur mom, im gunna ask mine
Hannah : brb
Rylee : my mom said kk
Hannah : so did mine
But u can actually come here
I mean If u want 2
Rylee : no y don’t u come here
U can
I don’t mind
Now come here NOW!!!!!
Hannah : ok ill b there in 5 min
J bb
Rylee : bb

I sighed and put my computer to sleep!. I glanced down, and gasped!. I still had my pajamas on!. After all, they had broken the news to us at breakfast!. Just thinking of that made me break down and made tears spill out from my sapphire blue eyes!.
‘No,’ I thought!. I needed to get a grip!.
I stood up, wiped the tears on my cloudy blue pajama pants and stumbled to my closet!. I pulled out my favorite old jeans and a red long-sleeved turtleneck!. I put my turtleneck over a blue tank top and pulled off my pajama pants and put on my jeans!. I wiped my eyes one last time, blew my nose one last time, and straightened out my hair one last time!.
I heard the doorbell ring and a few seconds later Hannah rushed into my sapphire blue room!. I had a window seat in the back of my room, a queen size bed near it, and a big black desk next to a tall white bookshelf near the entry!. A big white lamp stood next to 2 beanbags (both blue) and a tiny table for setting drinks and food while I read on a beanbag!.
Anyway, Hannah hugged me tight, and I hugged her back tighter!. She pulled back and looked at me sadly!.
“What do you want to do!?” she asked!.
“I don’t know!.” I looked at my cold, white tile floor as Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
OMG! WOW! that was really good it was like really intrusting lmaoo i reallly like it :]

keep working!Www@QuestionHome@Com

it's not bad!.!.!.but you made a mistake I think!.!.!.if its November then it should be 1st semester not second!.!.!.unless School was going on during the summer!.!.!. just thought you should knowWww@QuestionHome@Com

why did u write it
what did u write
and how did u write it
nawwwwwww just kidding
it cute real cuteWww@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's awesome!Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's a great start! Keep adding to it and I think it will turn out really nice!. You have a good eye for detail!Www@QuestionHome@Com

the dramatic life of a preppy stuck up teenager in really boring, and i cant understand some of their chat, and when u dont put like lines in between sent emails and new emails its really confusing which is which

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.

u got november right, i will be in 2nd trimester in november

btw, i am just harsh wen i read things cuz i have been in an advanced writing class for three years so i have been trained to write in a more sophisticated fashion!. sry, good luck!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

First of all it's hard to see where some emails end!. In the diary bit you've basically repeated what you've said before, so I don't think you need that!.
It's alright, definitely not my kind of story though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

omg dat is so great, so emotional! :)

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com