Here are the first few paragraphs from a book I have just finished writing!. Be brutally honest and tell me what you think but please don't be rude!. I'd appreciate answers other than just "great" or "good job"!. Tell me if you would keep reading!.
It was a damp and chilly morning when Emperor Ludus first received the news that he was dying!. It did not come as a shock to him nor did the thought of his death depress him!. In fact, those that were close to him in his last days might have stated that news of his impending doom somehow lightened his mood and lifted a darkness that had shrouded him since the birth of his two sons more than twenty years ago!. However, it was with a heavy heart that morning that he dawned his crown and kingly robes and stepped onto his bedroom balcony to view the city of Nebarius at dawn!.
Off in the distance the sun crept over the silver sea, illuminating if only but for a moment the darkness beyond the surface!. It was as if he were watching nature’s metaphor for his own sixty three year reign as emperor!. He felt that he had achieved much in all those years, too much to leave the Senjelian Empire’s future to chance!. That is why he had to choose his heir carefully!.
Normally, of course, there would be no choice!. The eldest son of the emperor had always been crowned on the eve of his father’s death!. In Emperor Ludus’ case, however, he had two sons, both born at the same time on the same day!. Rebos, debatably only a minute or two elder than the other, was the son of his queen!. While Rebos was intelligent and an excellent orator, he also had some traits that troubled his father!. Many times Rebos had shown himself to be concerned more for his own needs and wants than those of the people!. It would be more accurate to describe him as devious and plotting than honorable!. Still, there were many that believed he should rule as tradition would dictate!.
The second of his sons, Annon, was the son of a concubine, though he had been raised as Rebos’ equal in the palace!. Annon was wise more than intelligent but also a dreamer and an idealist who knew little of politics and less of the harsh decisions the ruler of an eighty four planet empire might have to make!. It would be hard for Annon to turn a blind eye to suffering and death, though sometimes this is what had to be done to keep the peace!. Annon’s judgment was too often clouded by emotion and though his intentions were always good they sometimes caused more problems than they solved!. Yet, Annon too had a loyal following who believed he should inherit the empire!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com