How does this sound for a short story?

Question: How does this sound for a short story!?

How does this sound:

"All it took was one second!. One moment of panic!. One slip of the wheel!. One missed beat!. One twist of fate!. It took so little!. It took our lives!."
How does that sound for an opening!? Please be honest, this goes towards my final mark!.
:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

It depends on what comes after!. If the whole thing is highly stylized dramatic stuff, then it might sound cheap or cliched!. If you explain what happened in a more simple naration after this opening, then I think its pretty good!. Good luck on your grade
God bless Www@QuestionHome@Com

<Oooooooh, mmmmmmyy gosh!!!!>!.!.!.!.That is like the BEST short story I have ever read, and if that's just the opening!.!.!.I KNOW your going to do well on the rest!.!.!.G00D LUCK!

{Peace nd Blessings, <xoxostudihallxoxo>}Www@QuestionHome@Com

ummm!.!.!.sounds interesting
check out mine
www!.rosebeat!.wetpaint!.com/page/the+roy!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

it sounds fantastic, this is the kind of book that i would open and think, "this is going to be good"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I really like it, I like the style of your writing and the way it could open up into anything!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Get it published, I want to read more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Crazy good i want more!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow!.
I think it's amazing!.

:)
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keep going its good =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

go for itWww@QuestionHome@Com

oh my dramatic! i like it i want to keep reading:)
you tease youWww@QuestionHome@Com