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Question: Um, weird question!.!.!.!.!.but does this sound creepy enough!?
I'm writing a part in my story in a telepathic stalker's point of view!. Hah, I don't really know anything about stalkers!.!.!.I just imagine this is how they would think!. It's okay if you don't understand what's going on; it's in the middle of the story!.!.!.!.
Tell me how I could improve :]
Thanks!

Ever heard "if looks could kill"!? Mine do!.!.!.sometimes!. If I want them to!. I have incredibly strong telepathic powers!.
And Ember Ross is a beautiful girl!. She's in love with me, I can tell!.!.!.even if she never knew I existed!. That night on the phone!.!.!.she loved me from the start, even though we only exchanged a few words!.
Sure, she turned me down, but she loves me!.
But that Axton boy was getting in the way of our endless, unconditional love!. I needed to rid of him for a while to formulate a plan!.
There's just one small bump in the road!.!.!.I've got the plan, but it seems as if Axton could wake up any day!. I thought he would surely be out for two years, at the least! Apparently they were going to take him off life support!.!.!.if only they had done it sooner!.
Or are my powers growing weaker!? Who knows!. Well, I'll be the one to figure it out!. And I need to eliminate Axton Berghan!.
My lovely Ember would be upset and vulnerable!.!.!.so vulnerable, she would trust me!. We could be lovers, get married, have kids!.
Ah, if only!.
I needed to act!.!.!.fast!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Thats really good!. But I wouldn't put in the thing about Her turning him down!. I would say something like, 'That night on the phone, Just hearing her say hello!? hello!? was so magical' Or something, so he didn't actually talk to her, so it sounds more creepy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't like the formulaic 250 word count romance novel feel to it, but otherwise, it is a neat idea!. Not my cup of tea genre-wise, but a good idea!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Awesome! I think you shld check over your tenses and make the whole thing in the present tense, sounds more real =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

Yeah!.!.!.way creepy!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it sounds creepy!. I'm not stalker either but it freaks me out!Www@QuestionHome@Com