Please tell me some corrections,comments etc.?

Question: Please tell me some corrections,comments etc!.!?

This is the first story ive ever written!.!.!.can anyone beta it for me!.!.or just read it and tell me my grammar mistakes, typos, comments etc!.

Thanks, it would be a big help :)

LINK:

http://www!.fictionpress!.com/s/2582877/1/!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

remember!.!. teachers dont discuss lessons they teach them :)
i think so far it is a good story but it needs more drama, otherwise it will end in a boring scenario!.
aswell adding a prologue to the start always helps people understand the story better!.

after it says "Claire Come on let's dance!" you do not need a full stop!.
I really like the way you used the phrase "motioned to stand" !. this shows lot's of writing skill!.

Don't write "Ouch!. That hurt!." the proper grammer would be "Ouch, that hurt!."

Other then these few problems above I think you have a really nice short story :)Www@QuestionHome@Com