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Question: Please critique my funny poem!?!!?
Once upon an evening dreary, while Bush pondered weak and weary!.
Over the upcoming Great Depression, oh, what will he do!?
The chance of it to repeat, will we people have enough to eat!?
His cluttered desk, once neat before, now looks similar to a zoo!.
It looks similar to a zoo because it’s covered with goo!.
Perhaps another one will do!.

Bush thought very slowly, for he had not been taught to think faster!.
Then he bought this idea of his that sprang up unlike doo-doo!.
On how to defeat those nasty Communists, oh, what a feat!
But to beat others, when home is broke, like his toilet bought new,
Upstairs in his bathroom, his toilet sat sadly flooded with poo!.
Perhaps another one will do!.

But his idea of magnificence, from his own dull brilliance!
To awaken this taboo of far past; the art of Voodoo!
What a jumble of chaps it could be… may be one with a bad hairdo!?
But so many feeble dolls to sew, for hours maybe!.!.!. no can do!
Perhaps another one will do!.

“No!” he pleaded to himself, drops of swear beaded on his large head!.
“I must use my idea brand-new on my doll named Winnie the Pooh!”
And on he raved, day by day, until one morning, he recalled…
And recalled but can not! Gone the brilliance, away it blew!
All’s gone but his toilet of blue, sitting sadly filled with residue!.
Perhaps another one will do!.

Bush was so anguished! “I need to remember this idea!” he wished!.
But none he recalled, not Winnie the Pooh, or was it Pikachu!?
Gone the idea, gone forever, gone the needle and doll very feeble!.
Away with the Commies it could be, gone with the wind, away it blew!
Vanished was the idea! Bush knew!. Nothing remained, not even a clue!.
Perhaps another idea will do!.



and please, if you are offended by my insulting of our prez, please let me reassure you!.!.!. this is just the prez!.'s personality in some of my spanish teacher's stories (he makes up stories about him in spanish and reads them to us!. LOL)Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Sorry, not even considering that it's all over the map and the forced rhyme!.!.!.!.perhaps you should have attempted something other than Poe!. Not a good attempt!. Maybe better luck with James Joyce!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

If you are over 12, not cool, re-do (new idea would be nice)!. If you are over 14, that was horribly stunted and!.!.!.well!.!.!.dumb!. If you are under 12!.!.!.good spelling!? And, your teacher has a political bias eh!? Public school, fair and balanced!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have a word or two, Mimosa, for you:
You've had so much glee pairing Bush and poo
That you've neglected to be actually funny;
Try some wit, try some humor, try something stinging
Instead of, like an angry chimp, your poopishness winging;
Mere words aren't enough to make a laugh sunny!.

Take your own advice, think on it twice,
Instead of using poo, perhaps another idea will do!.
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