Position:Home>Books & Authors> Okay so I had to write a prologue to a story i'm writing in english, does th
Question: Okay so I had to write a prologue to a story i'm writing in english, does this sound good!?
It was a dark and stormy night!. There were three shadows in the distance, one of which a man with a wide variety of ideas stood!. He was a man with a vivid imagination that nobody would bare listen to!. Many people believed that he had no talent!. The other men would often ridicule him because he had different beliefs than most people!. He believed that there was an unknown world out there that he was just waiting to find to prove the others wrong, so he set off on a journey that could change his life forever…Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like your start!. Check your grammar but it's okay and makes me want to know more!. The three shadows sounds sinister and that sets a good tone!. One of the people on this page didn't like the stormy night part and maybe because Snoopy, from Peanuts used that when he would write on top of his dog house!. You need it for the setting so try something similar, like dank and foreboding or nasty and insidious night!. Otherwise good luck!. It sounds like a start of something good!. I hope my input is okay for what it's worth!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
First, proofread for typos!. You have some sentences that don't make sense due to typos!. It sounds like this story could be pretty interesting too, but I suggest that you condense this prologue!. Your first line sets the stage for a mysterious, dark story!. Your last line introduces that this story will be about the man / shadow and his journey!. But all the sentences in between the first and last seem to drag!. Condense them into two detail-packed, tightly-worded sentences and then get right to the action!. Introduce your character by name soon so we can start caring about him in detail!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
What does the sentence "there were three shadows in the distance, one of which a man with a wide variety of ideas stood" mean!? The wording is very hard to read!. Consider rewording the sentence present its idea clearly!. What do the three shadows have to do with anything else!? also, your sentences all sound the same!. The mark of good writing is a variety of sentence types!. Yours are all short and abrupt!. Use the COMMA, but don't go overboard and create runons!. Dark and stormy night is like mucho cliche!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
"It was a dark and stormy night!."
You're kidding, right!?
The rest sounds!.!.!.!.!.odd!. It makes no sense!. I don't know what 'would bare listen to' means!.
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Sorry, but 'dark and stormy night' has already been done as a first line of a book!. The rest seems pretty good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com