Hi everybody, I am 14 years old and have been aiming at a career in writing, I wrote this to assess my writing and I need some opinions on it!. To clear it up for you people this mini-story is about a machine that wakes up a thousand years after a nuclear war that destroys humanity and it witnesses one of the last humans!.
For answers please comment on what I should work on and what you thought of my writing, thanks!
Here it is:
The creature stirred after its thousand-year sleep!. It opened its electrical eyes and flexed its steel limbs that had once served the whims of mankind!. It stood on a plain of ashes with fires still burning in the craters that dotted the landscape!. All around the creature stood ruins of buildings and machines that stood as memories of the great civilization that had brought upon itself the destruction of the world!. The electrical currents that serviced as the creature’s will forced it to stand up and look across the burning land!. Out of the darkness emerged a figure clothed in the darkest black holding in its hand a staff of the most twisted oak!. The creature cautiously waited as the humanoid shape approached closer and closer!. The weapons that the creature had possessed had long since rusted away into nothingness with the passage of time!. The man walked up to the base of the hill and in a commanding voice shouted words from a language that had long since died with the collapse of civilization!. The creature understood, it obeyed the command in the language of its masters and it lurched forth, prepared to serve a new master!.Www@QuestionHome@Com