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Position:Home>Books & Authors> How to make my paragraph more exciting to read?Question: How to make my paragraph more exciting to read!? It was a silent evening as i rested in my pink ,white bed !.My back ,head and my entire body hurt-ed to me everything happen so fast it all started ,the day of christmas when my sister said in a loud voice "Esmeralda wake up it's Christmas!"i jumped out of my soft bed and into my winnie the pooh slippers!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Good start, but you need to add more exciting and exotic words in for the dull words like pink, and white!. I would try to make at least 2 sentences on every detail!. For example: The evening did not even bear the sounds of crickets!. It was as quiet as a dormant flower sleeping in the mulchy ground!. I sunk into my bed, which was brilliant in cherry blossom pink, and a white so bright it seemed to blind me every time I looked at it!. My back, head, and every other part of my body ached like I ran the marathon!. Everything happened so fast as if I was going faster than the world itself!. The day of christmas my sister screeched in a voice so loud, it cascaded through my head, bouncing off my skull,"Esmeralda wake up it is Christmas!"Wanting to sleep in longer, I unattentively crept out of my bed and into my winnie the pooh slippers!. Taking one more glance at the white on my bed, being blinded once more!. If you add more detail it paints a picture in your mind!. Try looking for exotic words in other books, and then read yours!. Which one paints a picture in your mind best!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It was a quiet evening, as I tried to rest on my pink, white bed!. My entire body ached!. Everything happen so fast it all started yesterday morning when my sister bounded into my room turning on the light and yelled!. "Esmeralda! Wake up! It's Christmas!" I leapt upright in my soft bed shocked by her scream and the bright light!. All I could do was growl as I put my feet into my Winnie the Pooh slippers and leave my comfortable bed for the living room!. Hope this is a bit better!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It was quiet evening!. I the silience made me feel!.!.!.uneasy!. I rested on top of my bed sheets and tried to nap!. My whole body was sore and stiff making me unable to move furthormore!.It all hapened so fast making me nasueous!. It all started Christmas morning with my sister screaming "Esmeralda wake up! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Slowly I crept out of bed and slipped in'to my winnie teh poo night time slipper usually used when i get up for night snacks!.Www@QuestionHome@Com It was a silent evening as I rested in my pink and white bed!. My back, head, and entire body hurt!. To me everything happened so fast!. It all started the day of Christmas, when my sister said in a loud voice: "Esmeralda, wake up it's Christmas!" I jumped out of my soft bed and into my Winnie the Pooh slippers!. Www@QuestionHome@Com |